Since as long as one can remember, humans have tried to conquer the unconquerable. It’s in their nature to do exactly what they are forbidden to do or is termed impossible. They told Eve she couldn’t have the apple, they told the Wright brothers they couldn’t fly, they told Neil Armstrong he couldn’t walk on the moon and well, we all know what happened there.
And similarly, they told Akshat Verma he couldn’t travel across time. He did not take no for an answer and, as is not very hard to guess, did travel across time. Who would have guessed that after all the attempts and theories by Stephen Hawkings, Carl Sagan, Igor Novikov and the likes, it turned out to be a 35 year old, down-on-his-luck, almost broke Indian who still lived in his parent’s garage who finally conquered time. It was really simple after all, the time travel thing. It didn’t take fancy physics laws or parallel universes to figure out the single most seemingly impossible feat that was time travel. It turned out that if you just set yourself on a really fast motion, ten times the speed of light, you defy the laws of nature and cross the barriers of time and space. You travel across time - so to say - without biologically aging. This epiphany dawned on him when he was merely 20, fresh out of his teens, while he was reading a book on cars, which used to be a sort of passion for him at that time. The contents of the said book and how he managed to figure out how to surmount the insurmountable forms the part of another story but the fact remained that it did work; even though it took him 15 years to finally put his theory to test. 15 years to make a machine that actually could travel faster than light, ten times faster at that. He would have made such a machine in 7 years, but when he was almost through, he realized it would be very difficult to actually travel any distance at that speed. He almost gave up and was contemplating suicide, when he realized that it wasn’t necessary to go the distance. All it would take is to reach the speed. So the machine has to be designed in a way, which makes him move at more than the speed of light.
So he made a machine, which just rotated at the speed of 3x109 m/sec. It was, by far, the most amazing invention in the history of, ironically, time. But regrettably, no one ever came to know of its existence. That is, no one until now.
The so-called time machine had two major flaws. The first being: the travel left you extremely nauseous for days. And the second, it didn’t travel back in time. The catch was that you can make time (in this case, yourself) move as fast as you want, but you can’t go back. The classic scenario; no one can go back in time. That, Akshat thought, is something truly impossible.
So, after the machine was complete, it was time to test it. Akshat knew that if once he uses the machine, there is no coming back. Literally. But has anyone who has achieved such an impossible feat ever contemplated not testing his own invention?
So, on his 35th birthday when he had finally finished his chef-d'oeuvre, Akshat Verma decided to be the first ever man to travel to the future. He chose the year 2189 A.D. as his target year mainly for three reasons: One, he didn’t want to travel to a time too far away for he really didn’t believe that humans could survive longer than that. Two, he didn’t want to go into a time, which will be drastically different from the 21st century both language-wise and evolution-wise. And three, because his birthday fell on 2nd January’89. We don’t know how his journey was and how exactly did he manage to operate the machine. But we do know of one thing, all he took along with him was his journal and many packets of Uncle Chips (he did not trust the future food). We also know one more thing; he finally made it into the future.
Future is weird. Once Akshat got over his initial bout of nausea and time-travel sickness, this was his first thought. Nothing was like it was shown in the movies. Nothing was silver and there were no flying robots. Even the moon was intact. For two days he didn’t step out of his machine. He did not see any people around. All he saw were little, round, car-like vehicles buzzing around the streets. They were made out of a black coloured metal and seem to float on the roads rather than move on any wheels. The buildings were also made up of the same black metallic substance. They were very broad and tall and had no windows. Akshat’s time machine was sandwiched in a sort of alley between two buildings.
After two days of gazing open-mouthed at the cars and buildings and intervals of puking through the small window in the machine, he finally mustered up enough courage to get out. It was blazing hot outside, even for Indian standards. He hoped he was still in India; the time machine does not change its place while the travel. He got out of the alley and started walking out in the streets. His skin started sweltering in the scorching heat. A car zoomed past and then stopped at a distance. It came back and stopped in front of him. A small window sized space spread out on the metal and a head wearing a helmet popped out. It said in a girl’s voice Ze vyn quiqqa (are you crazy)? To which Akshat blurted: what?
The helmet head looked confused (yes, he could tell), and then after a moment’s pause, the metallic car opened up to make a small door. Inside, fast. The voice said. Akshat got inside the ridiculous car at once; partly because his skin was almost singed and partly because he was glad that someone was making contact.
The inside of the car was very wide and spacious. It didn’t have a steering wheel or any gear system. All it had were numerous screens – among which one was indicating the speed and another what seemed like the battery level indicator. Do you speak English? Or Hindi, maybe? Akshat asked cautiously. I do. But what I’d like to know is why don’t you speak ULU? She snapped at him. Ullu? Owl? What? Akshat was confused. He thought they are never going to get across the small talk phase if she kept on asking the questions. So he thought it was better that he explained it to her what exactly was going on.
Listen, so here’s the deal. I am from the past. I kinda invented the time machine. I need to speak to the highest scientific authority in this place. Can you take me to that person? Akshat asked, hopefully. She looked at him incredulously, at least the helmet head did. Okay. Hold tight. The car zoomed ahead so fast that Akshat was almost thrown back.
This was one good thing about the future, Akshat later realized. No one was surprised when he told him he had invented a machine that traveled ahead in time. They took it as another scientific fact. First he feared that someone had already invented such a machine and was not stupid enough to travel without even informing anyone in his time about the invention. But fortunately, that was not so. The human intellect had progressed to such great heights by that time that they had finally acknowledged what Adidas had been preaching all along, impossible is nothing. They would accept anything you told them if it had logic behind it. The helmet head girl believed him and so did the fifty-three scientists he had to talk to before being sent to the Chief Scientist. Do you realize what could have happened to you if Nii hadn’t found you? was the first question he asked after he explained every excruciating detail about the time travel process to the balding old man. Er, I’m sorry. I didn’t know I was doing something wrong, he replied.
Well, you were. Roaming around in the streets without Ray-Gear, that too in the middle of The War. We don’t have any ozone layer to protect your neck anymore. The satellite-guards can only hold up those rays so that they don’t blow the planet up. But of course you wouldn’t know, would you? You come from the time of countries and states, long before the Unification when people still spoke a different language at every step and still believed in that absurd Darwin theory! The Chief Scientist (or as he was called, Prolla Sheirr) spat. You don’t believe in evolution anymore? Akshat asked, incredulously.
The most worthless theory, if I ever heard one. Anyway, which year are you from? Prolla Sheirr asked him. 2024. I came up with the travel theory in 2010. Akshat said. He was about to ask the Sheirr about the startling discovery that replaced poor evolution when he was asked, What did you do? Were you in some kind of religious sect like the primitive Indians?
Well, Akshat said, that is none of your business. We Indians weren’t just about religion. I was a computer engineer, if you must know and a quite brilliant one at that.
What happened soon after he spoke this sentence was a whirlwind. Suddenly the Prollo Sheirr was immensely interested in him. He was taken to a room that Akshat assumed was a modern day hotel suite. He was given a royal treatment for three entire days. The future people had stopped having natural food as no plant had survived the ozone depletion. They now grew food and oxygen in small units called Veptas, which was supplied to him by modern day waiters and air conditioners respectively. One thing he was glad to note, however, was that the best thing in his time had prevailed. Not love, no, but alcohol.
Three days later Akshat was taken unto Sheirr’s office again. We kind of need your help. We have a system from near your time and we need to solve this minor glitch. So that’s what it was about, all that royal treatment. Ha! So you aren’t that great after all. Sheirr ignored Akshat and went on, I think I might need to tell you about the situation now seeing that you come from primitive times.
After three hours of rambling on, Prollo Shreirr left Akshat dumbfounded. Apparently the year he had so fondly chosen wasn’t exactly the best time to be in. There were many, many things wrong with it.
- 1. There were no longer countries and states anymore. The entire world was divided into Units and Sub-units after a phenomenon called the Great Unification took place. They were all governed by a central body resembling the United Nations only much more powerful. Very, very powerful. They all spoke one language called ‘Unified Linguistic Unit’ or ULU.
- 2. The currency money had turned obsolete, as there is no paper anymore due to the extinction of trees.
- 3. The currency now was just a set of digits in the accounts of the Citizens as they were called. It was like plastic money system, even cards were almost the same. All the transactions took place through a single banking unit called BSID – the full form of which Akshat didn’t ask. It held records of every single transaction, all the assets, and all the bank account balances of every citizen made till now. It was an invention made by an Indian guy named Rohan Ahuja in the year 2084. It was considered to be an infallible, unfaltering and foolproof system. They said it could not, would not stop working. That’s something impossible. It needed no electricity, no fuel to power itself. The system could not fail, no matter what.
- 4. Three months before Akshat came here, there was a meteor crash and the entire BSID was reduced to a pile of rubble.
Now you’d think that a civilization as advanced as this one would have a backup for such an occurrence. But they were too proud or too stupid to have any. The system hadn’t failed us for over hundred years! That was the only thing we trusted from pre-unification days. Should have known better than to rely on this primitive mess, Sheirr reasoned. Anyway, he continued, some chips of some sort are still left from that system, would you mind taking a look?
Akshat doubted that even if the said chips had survived the extreme temperature or the crash of the meteor, he would be able to make any sense out of it. It was 60 years ahead of his time. He tried telling this to the Sheirr but he would turn deaf whenever Akshat said something he didn’t want to hear. He had no choice but to look at it.
He was right; no matter how hard he tried he wouldn’t be able to make any sense out of that. The chips were no longer the flat little things they used to have. They were long, gold thread-like wires. Nope. Sorry. I’m really not familiar with this. I could have helped if it were something of the 2030s but definitely not this.
Prollo Sheirr was crestfallen. Akshat felt like he had just broke the poor man’s heart. He tried suggesting if there was any other way. Er… isn’t there any backup for this? Sheirr started staring at him as if he was completely, barking mad. Making a backup for something indestructible was senseless. Not that I know of. But Akshat still wasn’t convinced. He kept pressing on the backup. Sheirr yelled at him We DON’T create backups! This system was flawless. We don’t waste precious energy for something that’s of no use! Akshat still couldn’t believe that. He asked Sheirr: Did he invent this before the Unification? By this time Sheirr had lost his patience, he replied through clenched teeth, yes. Akshat smiled, then he still was an Indian. Indians always keep backups. Take me to the place where he made this “infallible” system.
So the exasperated Sheirr took him to a house in the outskirts of the sub-unit. Akshat was glad to note that at least the house looked familiar to him. It wasn’t made out of the black metal but bricks and cement, which had badly corroded. It was made in the 2030s if you must know. Bah! Sheirr spat. But we had to cover it with Smatanium from inside – er, the black metal you see. It is our only protection from the sunrays. He answered to Akshat’s confused look. I’m telling you there’s no point going inside. All that moron left was a cupboard made of indestructible wood and one hellishly annoying parrot, Bingo.
They went inside the house. It was spotlessly clean, Akshat noticed, because there wasn’t any dust in the future.
You gentlemen are not allowed here, a voice rang. Shut up, Bingo. We’re here because of your dear master’s screw-up, Sheirr snapped. Akshat looked at the direction where the voice was coming from. It was a red parrot that spoke in a very butler-like manner. Wait, you said this Rohan guy died a hundred years back. How is his parrot alive? Sheirr gave him an are-you-retarded look; he’s a genetically modified animal. You do know what that is, don’t you? He lives for 200 years. Akshat made a face at him. Smartass.
Then, Sheirr showed him a wooden cupboard. This is the only thing he left behind apart from the ancient computers in his laboratory and that god-forsaken parrot. It’s supposed to have something you might like to call a ‘backup’. This cupboard is made of indestructible wood and we don’t have a key. We tried everything, threw it in the Volcano, dropped it from the top of the Grand Canyon but nothing happened. It is very annoying when your own inventions become your obstacles. Akshat looked closely at the cupboard and said, did you try calling a blacksmith and getting a key made for the cupboard? Sheirr looked as if he was going to hit him on the head, we don’t have blacksmiths anymore, genius. And yes I did take the required measure. But the keyhole is very peculiar.
You gentlemen are just stupid. It is a very simple lock. Bingo chirped from behind them, startling Sheirr. Then tell us what it is! Sheirr snapped. I am not authorized to. Sheirr grunted an illegible abuse. Akshat rummaged in his pockets and found a safety pin. He bent it and fumbled with the lock while Sheirr looked disapprovingly over his shoulder. After 15 minutes of trying he finally gave up.
For five days Akshat came back everyday and tried various means to open the lock without any luck. Sheirr was getting more and more displeased by the day both with him and with Bingo, whom Akshat had got to like. He stayed there, perched on his wooden pew and rambled on constantly that they were going wrong. Finally, Sheirr got frustrated and yelled SHUT THE DAMN PARROT UP! And knocked his little pew over. Bingo took flight just in time but lost several of his feathers in the process. A feather came and rested itself atop Akshat’s knee. He picked it up and looked at the peculiar makings. They were remarkably like the ones on the keyhole of the cupboard.
For many years to come Akshat wasn’t able to explain why he did what he did. He took the feather and just inserted it inside the keyhole. To his and Sheirr’s immense surprise, it swung open. They gazed at it for the longest time. Akshat was expecting to see an entire computer system inside and a complex structure. But all it had was a single word written inside it. Bingo.
To Akshat it made no sense but Sheirr turned to the parrot and stared in disbelief. What is it then? He said through gritted teeth. Bingo the parrot, who was flying around their heads, spreading his glorious red wings simply started singing. Shut the damn parrot up! Shut the damn parrot up! Shut the damn parrot up!
-x-
Dear reader,
I’ve finally reached the last page of my journal which means that I can no longer write after this. They don’t write anymore because there is no more paper. But I think it would be very unfair to you if the aftermath of what happened were left untold.
Bingo finally told Sheirr what he was taught by his master. There indeed was a backup. A computer in Rohan’s laboratory was registering all the transactions simultaneously as the BDIS. The data was recovered and the War ended.
I did figure out a way to travel back in time. But for humans, it’s unlikely that they will reach alive. When you travel forth in time, you don’t actually biologically age but, when you travel back, you age just as fast. Faster than the speed of light! A human will be dead within seconds if he tried that. That is why I’m sending my time machine back, without me.
I also learnt a very important lesson even though it took me the most mind-boggling invention to make me realize that. You can never change the past, even if you invent the ability to go back in time. But you can always change the future and for that it’s not necessary to time-travel. I see the entire world now, and I think that only if we were more careful, more aware of the consequences we are subjecting out future generations to, it would have been such a better place to live. But it’s okay. Future is still awesome – and weird.
I am sending you my journal with my time machine. I hope you will narrate it to the world. I hope you will create my “backup”. You have never known me, but I know your father. He used to be my little baby brother. I was gone while you were still in your mom’s belly. I trust you with the account of your future and my past. I hope you use it well.
Love,
Uncle Akshat.
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