The Red Scarf

The shrill piercing sound of the alarm clock was the first sound she heard that day. Without even wasting a nanosecond, she got up to stop the cacophony blaring out of the clock, which was kept across the table giving her no chance to laze around for even a second. She looked at the watch groggily, it was 5.57. Shit!

It took Tammanna Shroff all of 18 minutes to shower and get dressed. She took her briefcase and stormed out of her house, stopping only to grab a banana for breakfast. She checked her watch again: 6.17. Though she was supposed to reach her office at 8, she always reached an hour early. Today, she had to handle a very important case. The senior partner in the firm, Mr. Iyer, had himself assigned her this case. Tammanna believed that it could make her partner-in-a-law-firm-before-I-turn-thirty dream come true.

Just as she was about to close the door, her cell vibrated. She took it out. It flashed an unknown number. Was it her office? Were they calling to take that case away? Or worse, fire her?

She broke into a cold sweat. Shaking, she picked up the phone.

“Hey, sunshine! Happy two-seven!”

It was Aman, her brother.

“Wha- Oh! Yeah, th-thank you!”

“Don’t tell me you forgot! What kind of person forgets her own birthday?!”

“I didn’t forget… I just didn’t remember. It’s just that I have this really important case to work on, you know-”

“Don’t you always? Give yourself a break Tom, it’s your birthday!”

She flinched at the name her brother addressed her with and at the way it sounded so unprofessional.

“That doesn’t make any difference. Aman, this is the case I was waiting for all my life. If I pull this off, it’d put in a good name to the partners. They might even consider me for partnership next time, you know.”

“Of course you can pull it off. But you can always do it a bit later. Getting your self all worked up is not what you need right now. Getting a life is!”

“Stop your yackety-yak. I know what I need, okay? And speaking of which, there’s a new opening at the legal services department with InfoMation. I can put in a good word for you if you want.”

“No, I don’t. You know I love what I do. I have a life –

“Yes! I know! Listen, I really have to go. I’ll see you at dinner, okay?”

“Will do. See you at 8.”

She hung up and rushed towards her car still thinking about Aman. It was hard to believe that someone like him could be her brother. All her life, she had been organised, headstrong and very, very professional. On the other hand, Aman had always been… well, Aman. Carefree, spirited and unexpected. Just like her, he had studied in the best law school in the country. But unlike Tammanna, who joined Levi-Parker as soon as she got out, Aman just started practicing as a small time lawyer in the district court. Since she was twelve, she had worked towards being a lawyer. But her brother just decided to be one after he saw Philadelphia. This is how Aman was. Then he met some people, his clients, who convinced him to join their “organization” and he joined them. Tammanna always tried to convince him to join a law firm or a company. And Aman always tried to convince Tammanna to wear brighter colours rather than beige and black.

She drove to her office lost in her thoughts about Aman. But as she reached the parking are, her attention was grabbed by the special parking spaces given reserved for the partners with brown and gold boards proudly displaying their names.

Someday.

Tammanna walked up to her office hurriedly. Nobody had turned up yet. She went into her tiny office and started working.

She spent all day studying, interviewing clients, arranging meetings and making case studies. She had totally forgotten about her dinner with her brother. At around four, Aman called again.

“Tom, what are you wearing?”

“Why?”

“Tell me.”

“A black suit, why?”

“Add some colour to your life, sunshine!”

And he hung up at that. Tammanna was annoyed, but didn’t react. After all, he was the only person who she could call family. The only one who remembered her birthday.

-------- x --------

It was almost 7.45 in the evening when Tammanna pulled herself out of all the work and called up Aman.

“Where are you?”

“I’m with the guys. I’ll meet you in 5 minutes at Ashok’s. Be there!”

“But –

It was already too late. He was gone. She went down to Ashok’s, which was just down the lane. The air was crisp so she walked. Ashok’s had been her and Aman’s favourite place since they were teenagers. She hadn’t been there for a while but Aman was still one of the regulars. He never failed to call her whenever he went there, which was nearly every week. Tammanna always refused. It had been ages since she saw her brother. Feeling a tinge of guilt, she quickened her steps.

She went into the restaurant and sat there. Just like Aman, their favourite hang-out hadn’t changed a bit. The same explosion of colours and fluorescent lights greeted her. This was one place that did not have any taste or ambience and yet Tammanna loved it.

Fifteen minutes passed by and yet there was no sign of Aman. Tammanna was getting impatient. She hated waiting but this was absolutely frustrating. She hadn’t seen her brother since nearly three months. She couldn’t wait to meet Aman but he was taking his own sweet time. That was so... irresponsible!

She took out her cell phone and called him up.

“Aman, where are you? I’ve been waiting since forever.”

“Listen, Tom. I’m coming. It can take me a while. You stay where you are. Just don’t go anywhere. Stay at Ashok’s, okay?”

“But where are you?”

“Tom, I don’t have time. I’ll explain when I meet you. You just take care and wait for me at Ashok’s. I’m coming.”

“Fine. But you better make it fast.”

“I will. And Tammanna…”

“Yes?”

“I love you, didi”

Aman hung up leaving Tammanna staring at the phone. In his whole life of twenty five years, Aman had never, ever called Tammanna didi. She was absolutely dumbfounded. This must be some weird thing he’s doing with “the guys.” Aman had sounded so responsible, so mature when he said that. Whatever, it was, Tammanna found it unnerving, rather than comforting.

Tammanna sat their, waiting for Aman, when it happened. She felt it first. A huge explosion of sound which shook the whole restaurant. The water in the glass kept on the table spilled out, the small vase fell. Tammanna got up and ran towards the door, holding her breath. Around a kilometre away from her, the whole city was ablaze. For almost a minute, there was absolute silence in the restaurant as everyone watched the scene unfold in front of their eyes. Tammanna went numb. Then, suddenly, there was a huge eruption of scream and cries as people ran for their lives. Tammanna joined them. She had to get into her office, grab her car and go back to the safety of her home. But something was holding her back.

Aman. He didn’t know. She took out her phone and tried to call him but it went in vain. The situation there was going out of hand, and she had to tell Aman. He doesn’t know! But she couldn’t call. I’ll text. She quickly typed him a message. Aman, DO NOT come here. There has been a blast. Can’t reach you. Call me ASAP.

She sent the message and waited for a delivery report. It didn’t come. I can’t leave like this; without making sure that Aman gets the message. I’ll wait for his call.

She walked away from the crowd of people running away and went to a corner. The sight in front of her eyes made her collapse where she was standing. People were running, there was a child standing in a corner, watching the burning buildings, awestruck, as men, bricks and other nameless, faceless things shot out of them like fireworks. The sounds of fire engines and ambulances fast approaching. A media van was already there. News reporters and cameramen were swarming about, trying to get people to talk on camera. Some members of police were trying to keep people away while some others were getting out people from the burning buildings; it was hard to tell whether they were alive or not. Tears sprang up to her eyes. She knew what it felt like to lose someone. She had lost almost everything in life. Everything, except Aman.

She saw two people walking towards her, a boy about Aman’s age and a girl, who looked much younger. Unlike the people around them, they were walking slowly searching for someone. They came up to Ashok’s and stopped. The girl pointed towards Tammanna and they started coming towards her..

“Excuse me. Are you Tammanna Shroff?”

Tammanna was surprised.

“Yes. What – how do you know me?”

They looked at each other, and then the guy said,

“Aman sent us.”

“Aman? Where is he? Why is he not here? Did he get my message? Why didn’t he reply? That’s so irres –

The girl came up to her and said, “Tammanna, Aman’s dead.”

“But atleast he could have informed –

“Tammanna? Listen to me. Aman’s dead!”

Tammanna stared point blank at the girl’s face. She felt that she had never seen a sadder face in her life. She could not comprehend what he was saying. Aman – dead? That’s surely not possible. Aman’s at home. He’s late. It’s my birthday! He can’t die on my birthday!

Tammanna cleared her throat and said in her best professional tone, “I think you might be mistaken. My brother is at home, he’s not –”

She could not bring her to say that word, even though it wasn’t true.

“Look, just come with me, okay?”

Tammanna followed them as they took her to the site of the blast. Aman wasn’t there. Aman couldn’t be there.

Up close, the sight was even more terrorizing. The building that had fallen prey to the explosion was a high end hotel. The building next to was also engulfed in flames. The strangers led her to the building opposite to the hotel, where the victims were being brought in. As soon as they entered, a guy approached them.

“Tammanna?”

She just nodded, unable to speak.

“This way.”

The three of them led her to a small room, a store room for spare stationary. Several people surrounded a guy who was on the floor. Tammanna couldn’t see his face. He was wearing a purple kurta and blue jeans. He reminded her of Aman. No, he doesn’t! Of course he doesn’t. So many guys wear bright colours.

Someone looked up as they entered the room. Tammanna, bit by bit, walked towards the body. Everyone gave way to her. She walked as slowly as she could. She could hear her heart hammering against her chest. Gradually, she could see the body clearly. The guy’s face was burnt. But she could tell that he carried stubble. He had that boyish charm in his face. Tammanna bent down and turned his face towards her.

After three long months, Tammanna Shroff saw her brother.

Her heart stopped beating. Her head was throbbing. Everything was blurred. Her life was blurred. She looked at Aman’s face. Her entire family, entire world was lying still in front of her. All she could see was his lifeless form. It was like she went into a trance. She couldn’t breathe. Aman was dead. Aman was dead.

Tammanna tried to speak. But she couldn’t find her voice. She tried to cry, but all her tears had dried up. She was choked with intense pain. Finally, she mustered all the strength she had and whispered, “Why was he there?”

She looked up to the crowd gathered there. All of them seemed to know Aman. She stood up and asked them again, this time loudly, “Why was my brother there? He was supposed to be at home. Who are you people? How do you know Aman?”

The guy who had brought Tammanna here stepped out and handed her a paper. It was a letter. “Aman answered all your questions, Tammanna.”

With shaking hands, she opened the letter. She could recognize Aman’s handwriting.

Hey, sunshine!

I know, I know you’re annoyed. I mean, what kind of a brother dies on his sister’s birthday! But, you know how I am! But you can vent out all your anger later. Tom, there’s something really important I need to tell you.

The people around you are the ‘guys’ I used to talk about. We are all an organisation. And we were in that hotel for a purpose. The thing is Tom, we knew about the blast. We’ve known it since a month –

Tammanna went numb. She couldn’t believe what she was reading. What was Aman talking about? How did he know? He can’t be behind the blasts; he cannot possibly be a terrorist. The thought itself made her shiver. She read further:

– now. My organisation was basically set up to prevent cyber crime. We were often called on by the police and companies for assistance. Last month, while investigating a possible hacking of the intelligence server, we stumbled upon a conversation between two guys, who were planning out the attack. One was based in this city and the other operated from somewhere near Delhi. They claimed they had smuggled 80 kgs of RDX into the city. We thought of it as a joke first, but further investigations revealed that it was indeed true. Since the past month we’ve been trying to tell the government and police about this. But with the elections coming up, everyone refused to hear us out. We tried to include the media, but they wouldn’t do anything against the government. As a last desperate hope, we came here to warn as many people as we could. I know what you’re thinking. I am indeed irresponsible.

Too bad it had to happen on your big day. Trust me, Tom, there is no one in the world who regrets it more than me that I didn’t get to see my beautiful sister on her birthday. You are the best frigging sister anyone could have. I mean it. You have been with me in all colours of my life. There’s nothing I can ever do or give that can pay you back (but you can have my rainbow wig.)

You’re not alone. You’ll never be.

Sparkle up, sunshine.
I love you.
Yours truly,
Aman

A thousand pins pricked her heart at once. Breath would not come to her. Her mouth went dry. She couldn’t believe what her brother had done. Careless, free spirited, irresponsible Aman had sacrificed his life to save strangers!

“He knew? You all knew about this?” she asked incredulously.

“We did. We all did. It was Aman who found out about this.”

“And the police? They also knew?”

“Yes. We told them. But they refused to help.”

“So that means, my brother lost his life because everyone else was too ignorant. He wouldn’t have died if these people listened to him, you know.”

“We know, Tammanna. We all were there when it –

But before he could say anything, Tammanna stormed out of the room. She went out where to the blast site and frantically looked around. She spotted a police officer at a distance. She ran up to him.

“Sir, I have some vital information for you. My brother knew about these blasts –

“Madam, I can’t help you. Please, go away from here.”

Tammanna was taken aback by his response. He started moving away.

“Wait! Who’s your senior?” Tammanna asked, in spite of herself.

He pointed behind Tammanna. She looked back and found the Commissioner of Police standing there. She went up to him.

“Sir, my brother Aman knew –

“Aman Shroff? We have no time for him now, he has bugged us enough”

“Sir, my brother was in there. He died saving innocent people.”

“A hundred other people have died. And if he knew, why did he go in there in the first place. Fool! I can’t help you. Go to some politician, they’ll be announcing compensation anytime soon.”

Tammanna was appalled. How could he say that? How could he think that her brother’s death can be compensated?

“My brothers died saving lives because, apparently, all of you dirty slaves were busy being ignorant.”

The commissioner threw her a dirty look and walked away. Tammanna tried to follow but she couldn’t get past the envelope of media that had surrounded him.

Tammanna looked around desperately. She saw a row of white Ambassador cars approaching. The commissioner had given him an idea.

She saw the chief minister get out of a car and was immediately surrounded by media and guards. He was unreachable. Out of desperation, she yelled, “My brother knew about the blasts!”

The minister stopped and looked at her. She said again, quietly this time, “My brother found out. He tried to inform the police. But no one would believe him.”

The minister came up to her and said, “I understand.” A wave of relief swept over her. “I will award you compensation. Terrorists cannot hamper our spirit.”

He whispered to a man standing next to him, “Get her out of here. She’ll tarnish my image.”

And he went away muttering something that sounded like “opposition.”

Tammanna was left speechless. Why did everyone think she wanted money? All she wanted was that her brother’s death shouldn’t go in vain. He had been insulted, had been called a fool. They thought that some money would fill the void in her life, would compensate her brother’s death.

She went back to the place where Aman lay, now alone. She sat beside her brother and took his hand in hers.


I love you, didi.

She looked at his long, messy hair. How many times had she told him to cut it short? And how many times had he told her to get rid of her “nasty little French plait.”

I love you, didi.

She thought of his tinkling laugh, which always made her smile. So many times he had laughed his way out of their arguments. And Tammanna was always left fuming and smiling, at the same time.

I love you, didi.

Every time Tammanna saw him, she had always been critical of him. And he had always been so patient, so nonchalant. Tammanna always thought he wasn’t good enough. Aman always thought she was the best.

I love you, didi.

Someone knocked on the door pulling Tammanna out of her stupor. She looked up; it was someone from Aman’s organisation. He carried a white box, slightly burnt at one side.

“He wanted you to have this. It’s your birthday gift.”

Tammanna took the box and opened it. Inside it was a beautiful red silk scarf impervious to the damage done to the box and to Tammanna’s life.

Two fat tears rolled down her cheeks. She hugged the box closed to her and completely broke down. Reality sunk in for the first time. Aman was gone, he wasn’t coming back. No matter how much she wants. She had failed to recognize what Aman truly was. Aman had lived his short life better than anyone she knew. Better than she ever could. She termed his will to live as irresponsibility and now he was gone. Forever.

She looked at Aman’s sunken face and then at the beautiful red scarf he had given her. She got up and wiped off the tears. She won’t let Aman’s life go in vain. She would not let other people be the judge of her brother’s character. She’s going to finish off what Aman had started.

She went to Aman’s friends. “I want all of you to come out. I have a plan.” She went towards the door and suddenly stopped. She turned back, “Have you thought of registering this organization?”

Outside, the scenario had gotten worse. Most of the fire was extinguished but the injured victims were being brought out. The family member stood outside the building praying, hoping, dreading. Tammanna looked around. She saw a media van standing and approached them.

Fifteen minutes later, Tammanna was on air. She told the whole world what her brother had done. How he found out about the blasts, how he went to the police, the politicians and the media and how everyone refused to believe him.

“…and then, as a last option, he and his friends went to the hotel to save as many people as they could. But my brother couldn’t save himself.”

She choked. Tears sprang up in her eyes. No, I won’t cry.

Heaving a sigh, she continued, “We all put our trust in these people and this is what we get? My brother believed that it’s time we take things into our hands. It’s time we take the initiative. We have had enough of sitting around wishing for things to change. If we join hands, maybe we can be the change we yearn for. I, Tammanna Shroff, call you to join me and my brother for our cause… to bring change… to be the change.”

She couldn’t continue anymore. She turned back and left. She went back Aman to find solace. She took his hand again and cried. I tried, Aman. I tried.

Suddenly her cell phone vibrated. It was Mr. Iyer. Why is he calling me 11.30 in the night? She picked up.

“Tammanna, what the hell is it? What am I seeing? I’m sorry for your loss but it’s not acceptable for an employee and future partner to go about defaming Levi – Parker by supporting some stupid fan club.”

“It’s not a stupid fan club. It’s my brother’s wish.” She spat.

“Tammanna, I know what you’re going through. But after few months, we’re putting you up for partnership. Consider this. It’s not the time to get impulsive.”

“I quit. Now you consider this.”

She hung up the phone on him. She looked at Aman’s face. It seemed to be smiling at her.

She looked up and saw all of the “guys” standing there, open mouthed.

“What?” she asked.

“Err... we were planning to register the organization. Do you have any name for it?”

Tammanna looked at Aman’s face and smiled. She looked back at them.






“The Red Scarf.”